Identity Crises Of A Mother

I have seen many mocking a working mother. For them, a mother’s primary responsibility is to take care of their children and family. And if she joins back her office post delivery then she is the career-oriented and selfish Mom!

I am a stay-at-home-mom and I am not advocating any particular set of a woman. As a woman and as a mother, I know every woman, directly and indirectly, contributing for social emancipation. She is the one who nurtures her family and ultimately a society.

Everyone is different and so their views. Surely, we cannot ask anyone to change their views just because we are not convinced of them but at the same time, it’s equally important to clear some pre-conceived notions which have settled in their mind on a larger scale!

There was the time when I had worked in a big corporate before I planned to quit my career for my younger ones. But that was typically our choice as parents and certainly, you have more challenges when you stay in the nuclear family and far off from your parents.

It happened many times when I wanted to join back to work and aspired to be with same passion which I had earlier. I love to work or getting engaged in any kind of work which gives me mental peace. The only thing where I missed was if I would have planned my post delivery blues in another manner then I would be at the much senior post now and I can vouch for my skills and hard work!

But on the contrary, I don’t have any guilt too as for why I have wasted my eight years of life in bringing up my family. I enjoyed that period too and they are my lifetime memories.

But when I realized that my children are little grown up and can manage in a day care for few hours, I started floating my resume to get back to work. But honestly, it’s not easy to get a job after a long gap. Surely I am not a person who is not updated with new technology and what’s going around or never bothered about the new trend in corporate. I have always made sure that I need to connect with the outer world which is need of an hour and I did so in all possible ways.

I was ready to justify my long career gap and compromising to join as a lower level executive. The reason why suddenly the lust for work sparked is because I was missing my work. Yes, the place where I can use my mental level capabilities and in search of my own identity.

Often I get angry with people when they target working women or stay at home. Former for being a selfish person and latter for non-contributing towards the society.  How can someone judge that working mothers leave their children only to earn money? They should understand that money is not everything. There are few more things which need to be considered.

One- The sense of satisfaction of using their skills towards the betterment of society.

Secondly, coming out of Identity crises which are a must for every woman. And there could be many more commitments which many won’t aware of.

Additionally, for stay-at-home -moms it’s all about their personal choice. It’s nowhere means that even if they are skilled they are wasting their degrees in cleaning the poop. One educated mother only can bring educated families and it’s indeed a social contribution. Yes, it happens sometimes when you too feel as a victim of identity crises and when you sense that you are just as someone’s wife, someone’s mother and someone’s daughter-in-law and so on. But one can come out with that too!

Getting your identity back is nowhere related to earning money and absolutely there is no relationship between money and working and striving hard to get it. Even if you work for few hours for an NGO or enhancing your skills as a singer, writer, a dancer you are grooming yourself. You are back as with your identity as a Dancer, Writer, NGO-Volunteer, Social worker, Yoga teacher or myriad of things. You really need to see where you can find solace and let your soul grow! There is one famous quote, ” Practice any art, however well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to find out what’s inside you, to make your soul grow”…….Kurt Vonnegut.

Yes, we need to grow and it’s completely our choice where we want to!

It’s a different aspect if you have planned your life completely with your own family then one should happily accept it and never get into guilt trap but if you have few dreams for your life then go ahead.

There is no stopping for anyone in this world. And never is late to learn and to start. The only thing I know is to keep dreaming high and work hard to make them realize. They will surely one day!

 

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